


Wrong Room

by Jaal_Ama_Darav



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Celebrating Star Wars day, Humor, May the 4th be with you!, Putting cut content from the movie to funny use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-10-28 03:09:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10822491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaal_Ama_Darav/pseuds/Jaal_Ama_Darav
Summary: Hilarity ensues when a room with a Wampa in it is involved! (Based on cut content from Episode V: Empire Strikes Back)





	Wrong Room

**Author's Note:**

> Created in celebration of Star Wars day. 
> 
> May the Fourth be with you!

Hoth.

An ice planet that may appear lifeless but was home to various animal and plant life, including the deadly Wampas.

And home to a major Rebel base.

In one of its many chilly hallways, some Rebels stood. Ice covered many of the walls, at least the floors weren't slippery.

"This room," one of the Human Rebel captains, Jenkins, leading the new meat cadets through the place pointed out a large set of automated sliding double doors. He was dressed in orange, red, and white battle scarred armor with matching underclothing. "Has a Wampa trapped in it, hence the sticky note." His face became stern. "Obviously, stay away from it. Unless you want to end up its dinner."

* * *

The yellow sticky note read-

Danger!

Wampa inside!

Do not enter!

* * *

The Wampa's roars were heard and the door shook from its blows.

One of the cadets in shiny new armor, Leeroy, looked like he'd seen a ghost. "A Wampa?! I hate those things!"

The captain looked in Leeroy’s direction. "Agreed, though soon the Empire might attack so it can become a trap for them."

The beast roared again.

Leeroy backed away, shaking. "Can we please go on, what if that monster breaks loose?!"

Jenkins chuckled. "That door won't give easily, but we can go onward. Wouldn't want to get the beast too riled up.”

* * *

The next day, Darth Vader and his fleet descended upon Hoth. Our heroes had to make their escape or face the wrath of Darth Vader and the 101st Stormtrooper force.

C-3PO, a humanoid gold plated droid with large glowing yellow eyes, headed down the hall, passing the door with the trapped Wampa. He noticed the sticky note. "Wampa? Oh my!" He ripped it off. "That will do." He walked onward, to meet up with the others and escape.

* * *

Four Stormtroopers, clad in white armor with black joints and black visors inclusive of cloaks for camouflage, ran by the door. The captain motioned for the team to stop. "They may be hiding in here." He turned to one of his comrades. "Hack the control panel, get us in."

The Stormtrooper did as ordered, and the door opened.

The captain moved towards the entrance. "Go! Go! Go!"

His comrades followed close behind, one of them accidentally hit his shoulder on the door frame. "Ouch! Not again!"

One of the other Stormtroopers was confused. "No one here?"

The one furthest back shrugged his shoulders. "Guess so."

Something big, white, furry and quadrupedal stirred in the corner of the frozen room. Large black eyes, two tusks at the sides of its head, razor sharp teeth, and giant rending claws.

The hacker shivered, but not from the cold. "Captain...t-tha-that's a **W** ** **ampa****!"

The Stormtrooper next to the captain was frozen stock still. "I think I soiled my armor..."

"Run!" The captain spun around and dashed for the door. "Run for your lives!"

The door suddenly shut and locked. The captain smacked into it, fell backwards, and landed on his back.

His comrades stopped just before the door.

The hacker banged against the door with his fists. "You jerk! Open this door! There's a Wampa in here that's gonna eat us! We're going to be dinner!"

* * *

A Rebel panted, having locked the four in with a terrible creature. _Close one. Suckers! And after almost forgetting my Jedi collection!_

He ran down the hall, carrying his Jedi collection in his red backpack. One of the sliding doors ahead opened.

The tall, dark scary figure of the dreaded Sith stood at the doorway.

Darth Vader. Clad in black and gray armor, a black face mask with large black eyes that appeared to stare into the soul, and a cape. Tall and imposing.

"No!" The Rebel ran the other way. "Get away from me!" He kept running, but realized he wasn't running on solid ground, but in thin air. And now was moving backwards. "No! No! Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" He was either going to get strangled with the Force. Or impaled by a red lightsaber. Or both!

He was pulled until he was hovering in front of Darth Vader, his back to the Sith. The Sith didn't open the backpack physically, but used the Force to open it.

The Jedi collection came spilling out. Pictures, images, books, amongst the books was a book titled ‘The Jedi Path’.

The Rebel was petrified. _I'm dead! I'm so dead!_ The Rebel was turned around in midair. And now was face to face with Darth Vader.

The Sith still had him stuck in place. "Where did you get this Jedi collection, Rebel scum?"

The Rebel finally found his voice. "Coruscant. From some Jedi memorabilia collector. Please don't kill me!"

Darth Vader paused. "You have information. Squad Seven, take him back to the ship for interrogation."

The Rebel's eyes widened. "What do you mean?!" He was put to sleep by the powers of the Force moments later.

He would end up screaming in horror days later.

* * *

Now that the Rebel scum was gone, Darth Vader still had one issue. His missing squad.

Screams rang down the hall. "Help us, Darth Vader! There's a Wampa in here with us! Get us out of here!"

Vader shook his head. _These guys always get into trouble._ He walked to the door the screams were coming from, his Stormtroopers following.

From a wave of his hand and the Force, Vader opened the locked door.

The Stormtrooper who hacked the door ran out and cowered behind Vader. "Kill that thing!"

The other Stormtroopers swore they heard a sigh of exasperation from Darth Vader.

The Wampa was running around, chasing the other three, including the captain.

The captain fired at the Wampa again. "Why won't it die?!"

One of the Stormtroopers with Vader was shaking his head. "Maybe 'cause you're missing your shots."

Indeed, the three were firing widely like a bunch of incompetent rookies. They soon ran out of ammo.

One of Vader's other Stormtroopers stepped forward. "Want me to kill it?"

Vader shook his head and walked forward.

The other Stormtroopers stood back, eager to see Vader's power.

The Wampa stopped chasing the terrified Stormtrooper trio, and turned its attention to Darth Vader.

The beast roared and charged at the Sith, thinking he would make a good meal.

Darth Vader stood in place, and threw his lightsaber, using the Force to guide it.

The Force guided lightsaber sliced through the Wampa's neck. Its body toppled over while its head flew across the room, landing at the feet of the scared hacker Stormtrooper. It growled and snapped.

The hacker screamed much like a little girl, jumped off his feet, and into the arms of another Stormtrooper much like Scooby jumping into Shaggy's arms. If he didn't have armor, he'd be as white as a ghost!

Another Stormtrooper facepalmed. "They're a bunch of chickens!"

Darth Vader caught and deactivated his lightsaber. He hooked it to his belt and walked out of the room. "Squad Three, send those four back to the ship, they need more training." He was facepalming inside, they would make the 101st a laughingstock if they were allowed to remain the level they were.

Darth Vader continued his hunt throughout the Rebel base soon after.

But the Rebel scum he was after most had gotten away.

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this which I found in TV tropes on the "No-Paper Future" article in the Films category- "One deleted scene from The Empire Strikes Back shows that the Rebels used a warning on paper stuck on a door that leads to a room in which they had trapped a Wampa. As the main characters escape the base, Threepio rips off the paper so the Stormtroopers will barge in there unaware. The scene was cut because of this trope." 
> 
> Basically it was cut due to the fact there was no paper in the Star Wars universe, but I thought it would be really funny, so I went and did the story.
> 
> Hope you all have a good laugh, and let me know what you think! It would be greatly appreciated!


End file.
